It’s hard to make the change to friends dating because, unlike your regular friendship, you have added stress that wasn’t there before. Things like feeling obligated to spend time together instead of wanting to spend time together can take a tole on the relationship. When normal couples feel that stress, they can deal with it better because they have nothing to compare it to. When friends go through it, the can’t help but compare their new sour feelings to the positive feelings they used to have towards each other.
If you let comparisons like that add up, then you’ll be quickly walking down the path towards a relationshit.
A relationshit is like a relationship, but instead of the good things, you’re stuck with an abundance of the bad. You find yourself doing the regular things couples do– Going out to dinner, renting movies, hanging out in solitary confinement– but instead of enjoying them, you’re throughly dreading them. When you were friends, you got to do these things on your own time. If you were getting a little sick of them, you could always call it a night and head home. When you’re dating, you have to stick it out until the night runs its course, which can lead to arguments simply because you’re frustrated that you feel like there’s no escape.
The easiest way to stay in a relationship and stay out of a relationshit is to create balance in your personal relationships. For every hour you spend with your match, spend an hour either on your own or with friends. You’ll get time to clear your head, and you won’t be stuck on love-overload. That way when you do go out together, everything feels fresh and you’re ready to endure and enjoy each others company.
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